you had to be there
2001-05-06 - 12:37 a.m.
it really makes you wonder sometimes. and it's not the only one that does. all of it does. that really could be an appropriate choice, not maybe not.
then at other times, you just know. not possible. no way. stupid thought.
this applies to everything. with the two of them. with her (or any one, for that matter). with these things. with that future destination.
how can you decide between to perfect answers. yet... they're both wrong. the first has a nice appearance. nothing flashy. very stable. and your presence is very important to this thing. then you realize, that this comfort may not be what you wants. what about this shiny one? but you don't really know what would happen. it appears that it would work, but what if it might be out of reach? why toss away the first thing, when you may have no chance at the other thing. you then think, i could do it! even if i pitched the old one for the new one and the new one turns out to be bad, then i could find the old one where i left it. then you get this sudden oompf! when you realize how impossible that is.
somehow, this subject pops up every so often. it's such an appealing idea, just because it'd be new and different to me. that experience would be priceless. and then you think about the chances closer to you. that it be more important to you and that it'd be more emotional and personal. but then you think how embarrassing it would be with that closeness, so maybe something a little less attatched might be a little bit more comfortable. but that's borders on really bad.
and then there are these things. so tempting. but so terrible. "hey wait a minute. who cares if they're bad. it's the experience that matters." "no. they're really bad. too bad to tamper with. there is absolutely no room for anything else. that is the only answer that could ever be."
and is that the best place to end up? what about something a little more conservitive or something a little more liberal? that could be a ruin for me. or worse yet, i'll never make it and be shut down forever.
so confusing. i don't know which responses come from which part of my brain in which circumstances. which circumstance would be from the best place to look from?
siotd:
Thou froward bat-fowling fustilarian.
