angst
2001-08-09 - 12:53 a.m.
so like... wow...
lotsa angst in the last entry...
yeah well... wanted to type somethin'. words just came outta fuckin' nowhere.
got outta the hopital a few days ago. i was away from any computer for almost a month. i think that's a record for me.
you know what they fuckin' do to you in the hospital? "does this hurt when i push here?" yes it fuckin' hurts, you moron! why the hell you think i'm screaming for! i told you it hurt when i got here! then... they hook you up to bags of this shit or that shit, have tubes hangin' out of just about any hole they can find, even create some holes. what's that? your vein with the i.v. in it collapsed? oh, let's put in another one, even though we have to hunt and dig for it and that one's just gonna collapse and send anti-biotics flooding into your joints! oh, don't forget the 2:00 am visits from the vampires needing more blood for their tests. having to call the nurse every time you have to pee so she can unplug your machine from that wall, then peeing into a big giant cup with lines on it so they can keep track of how much you pee. the hospital gowns, the sponge baths... must i go on?
oh well. it's over.
fuckin' finally.
got gifts outta it. felt really loved. got flowers and ballons, cards and stuffed animals, even chocolate i wasn't supposed to eat. got lotsa visitors and phone calls to my mom asking how i was and sending on their best well-wishings. even so, it was an experience i would have loved to do without.
i need a fuckin' drink.
