the devil's road through the savage garden
2001-05-12 - 12:54 a.m.
so yeah... major power trip.
i guess it's my own damn fault. but for no real reason other than my overactive imagination. that desire to have that command of the world. the ability to be so brash and impulsive and not have to worry too much of having bad things befall me. plus, the ability to control people -- not just with verbal orders. but making people realize that it's just something they should do, because of my beauty, my impulses, my strength, and most importantly, my seemingly immortality. something known in their very cells and in the firey synapses of their brains that this shall be done.
i long for the confidence. in my strength. in my mind. in my beauty. in my persuasiveness. in my desires. in my thirst. in my spirit. in my self. i want to have that sound connection of body and soul.
i don't long for death. i don't long for the last time i ever see a dandelion glowing in the noonday sun or feel the sun's rays warming my skin or see the firey reds and oranges of the sky as the sun slowly slides down the sky and teases the horizon. all of this i would miss dearly and would hate to lose. but uncharacteristically, i'm craving a power. this power that only death would bring.
cover her face;
mine eyes dazzle;
she died young.
siotd:
Thou droning swag-bellied skainsmate.
