why am i always confused?
2003-01-22 - 1:56 p.m.
so why is it whenyou think something's over, you find out that that's it's far from it?
i guess the only person i was 'saving' or helping out was myself. but not really even myself. but there was still nothing i could do to save him.
silent bob gave me a key to his place during finals week last month. see, during breaks from college, he works 3rd shift at wal-mart, so he sleeps from morning to afternoon. he wanted me to be able to come in and wake him up (if you know what i mean). so he gave me a key. yeah, so, christmas break's over and i tried to give it back... wouldn't take it.
o
m
g
this from a man who doesn't want to fall in love with anyone and doesn't believe in falling in love. (well, he also told me this summer that he wanted to stay single for longer. look how that turned out.) he says he's not a guy to get emotionally attatched. and etc.
and here i am. even though i've always felt comfortable with being with someone for a long time and even with the idea of falling in love, i'm also scared to death. i don't want to fall into the same thing that happened with xongo. he recommended a couple of times that i leave some things over there, like a tooth brush and things, but to do that makes it feel like i'm moving in. like i'm living there. WHOA! too much! where i would have welcomed it before, i'm not gonna do that now.
he hasn't said "i love you," and i don't think he will. even if he has "fallen in love," he's fighting it and doesn't believe it. i've talked to our mutual friend (freakboy), and he said that silent bob never gets attatched, etc. as for the way he's acting now (and what he says in his love letters, etc.), freakboy has no explaination. silent bob's never done this before.
oh confusing times.
why are relations with other people so confusing? not only that, but why do i persist in confusing myself with them?
*sigh*
convent. so smart yet so stupid.
