beware. before you read this entry, know that this is a really long-assed entry. okay... just warnin' ya...
2002-04-28 - 5:51 p.m.
i'm watching a coven try to form. it was strong about two weeks ago. now it is starting to dwindle. i'm not sure if i should encourage it or let it die.
i read on it today. my readings are getting stronger. it has to do with whatever is causing these wonky engergy floods.
the reading on it seemed pure, but may have been changed by what i want to see.
the passionate beast
the insightful dreamer
the clever artist
a change
the patient dreamer
the transforming helping hand
the charismatic man.
seven.
or six, depending on interpretation.
was it me i saw in there? was it him?
i wish i could feel this flood all the time. i wish i could practice it. i wish i new where it was coming from so i could tap into it better.
anyway, back to earth...
i've been thinging of things to do with this diary. i was going to make a different story archive, specifically for the inner workings of my mind to keep them out of the random dribble prolificating this place, but decided not to. i've already created a page for a different story, although i haven't had time to work on it. it's template is still a work in progress. the storyline is picked out, but i have no words for it yet. the third story idea will probably have its own page soon and will sidetrack me from this diary and the other one.
fizzban's working on a new project. i really hope it works for him. we're supposed to discuss it tonight. he's working on a screenplay. he's also asked me if i would do the scores for it. what a challenge. and so not my focus for the rest of my life. but it would be fun. and it would allow him to finally do what he's always wanted to do -- be in the 'biz.' "because there's nothing worse in life than being ordinary" -- american beauty
look closer
i love watching these movies that make you take a closer look at life and its lessons. so often, we watch a life-altering movie with a huge life lesson, and say, 'oh my god, that's so true.' you go on through that day pondering the topic. oh, how this is totally gonna change my life and how i look at things. my whole future is gonna be different.
then you go out somewhere with a friend and have a good time.
and totally forget your plan.
yeah, dude. totally.
i need love in my life. maybe that's why i'm so bitter. i'm starting to feel like a fucking nun. well... i would if i had a god to dedicate my life to. well, at least i have cats. kitties make the world go 'round. *sings showtune from caberet* how sad... i'm gonna be one of those sad old cat ladies. i can see it now. wrinked and old, shouting at those young whipper-snappers riding their bikes too fast down the street, smelling like mothballs. ah, i see it all now...
an ocean of time...
beautiful.
