it's been a while...
2002-11-12 - 11:07 p.m.
ah, here we are.
how long has it been since i've written? i don't feel like checking.
i know a lot has changed since. my last entry included spending time with a friend -- silent bob. well, we got together shortly after then. and i'm so completely happy. he's not just a boyfriend. he's a friend. not to mention i get the cuddling part i missed so much in a previous entry! oh yeah, definately no more libido problem!! this is the best relationship i've been in. i've never laughed so much or cried so little. i'm actually enjoying myself and don't feel any presure whatsoever, which is a big change. and it's nice to know he's something solid i can anchor to as everything gets so crazy and scary and unforseeable.
in those areas, some things are jumping wildly, while others stagnate. i'm now the bassist for krystal flame, which is exciting. but at the same time, we're sitting on our thumbs right now -- our singer, mallet queen, just got her tonsils and adnoids out. i'm playing two solo songs for island breeze at our concert this thursday. i just quit the pride (woo-hoo!) and picked up the job of teaching drumline at khs. i want to quit taking classes at sms, but i don't think i'll be able to quit. i'm a certified bartender (woo-hoo!), but it's really hard to find a job here as a certified bartender -- most places train their waitresses to bartend. i'm going to have to kick my new roommate out. not only has she damaged a bunch of my things, but she and her fiancee (whose mom kicked him out and is currently staying with us) are having money issues -- her last rent check bounced and she owes me about $160 more in phone bills. but if i have to boot her out, i've got a friend coming back to school next semester who can move in. my talents are increasing -- i've three decks now to chose from, and when we went to so the spooklight, i recieved a bombardment like none before.
lots of excitement.
i just wish i could get some idea of what lies ahead. i don't want answers to specific questions, even thought that might be nice, because i know i'll never get them. i just wish to know what to brace for or to welcome in open arms. and in that sense of things, silent bob really isn't any more stable than anything else in my life. it's just the only thing that don't make me wonder. the only thing i'm comfortable with.
the french are glad to die for love
they delight in fighting duels.
but i prefer a man who lives
and gives expensive jewels.
moulin rouge
