hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go
2001-05-09 - 3:42 p.m.
so let me tell you a little about what it's like to work at a grocery store. you know, one of those super schnuck's?
first off, lemme tell ya, it's not their fault! the cachier's, i mean. i swear to you, they don't: program the computer, put the sale prices in the computer, stock items, order items, or poke holes in your groceries. so don't blame them if: the computer doesn't like your debit card PIN, the sale prices aren't in the computer, not all of the products have made it to the shelves from the back, the store is out of a product, or your milk is leaky. don't yell at them! don't blame them! lay the fuck off!!!
lemme tell you about the customers. nice, normal people they all are...
until they walk through those automatic doors.
then it's every man, woman and child for themself.
carts in the middle of the aisles. 'oh, i don't want this ice cream anymore, so i'm gonna leave it in the chip aisle.' and forget being nice to the other customers. no way. they might be the one who gets the last of whatever before you can get there.
then, after picking out their groceries, they're all like vultures. an open check-out counter and they're all over it -- light on or off, people in line or not, cachier or not -- there they are shoving their coupons in your face or putting them on the belt! (and the word is pronounced 'coo-pons', not 'cue-pons'!!!)
you have no idea what working at a place like this does to a person until you've actually worked there. even the sweetest person turns into a bitch.
i fucking know there's a penny on the counter that someone left!!! don't you fucking think i know what's on my counter?!?!?!?!
as a customer, there is something you can do, even if you're not pleasant. improve the scenery. here are some grocery shopping fashion tips:
-- (women) avoid peach/flesh-coloured leggings at all costs. especially if you've got a little extra weight on you and you insist on not wearing underwear. *shudders* not a pleasant sight, believe you me.
-- (men)if you're gonna wear a hocky jersey, that's fine. you can even wear it with khaki shorts... just as long as the shorts are longer than the jersey. i don't care how good your legs are, it's really hard to get work done when the entire staff has to do a double take at you because you appear to have no pants on.
siotd:
Thou gorbellied tardy-gaited lewdster.
